Tonight
by Foxyinthecity
Summary: A One Shot. This story is about John Sheppard. John is in his room. He is about to do something which does not come easily to him. I don’t want to give the story away.


Disclaimer: I do not have any rights or claims to Stargate Atlantis.

Spoilers: minor references from Seasons 1 through 4

I started penning thoughts for a story after having some major discussions with a friend of mines on the relationship of Sheyla. Then another of my friends who has been recommending several books to me for months. Cutting a long story short, I finally picked up one of the books this week. I read a few pages of this book and it inspired me to put my thoughts to this story. Guys, this is my hope for Sheyla's relationship on the show. So I hope you guys enjoy it. As always, I do love hearing your feedbacks, so please leave a review.

**Tonight**

My name is Colonel John Sheppard…and I have been sitting in my room for the past hour or so. I seem to be very reflective tonight. I am use to changes in my life especially here on Atlantis where there seems to be endless changes. There have been so many changes. Changes from the mundane to life altering – changes – were I have lost friends, loosing the men under my command, so yeah – some of those changes have been hard.

Never would I have imagined that flipping a coin would have changed my life so drastically, but it has. When I first heard about the expedition to Atlantis from Colonel, Jack O'Neill at the time, there weren't too many things in my life on earth that held appeal. So I thought the opportunity to find and explore the city of the Ancients wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Now, Atlantis has been my home for several years. I can't imagine being any place else. You see…I was ordered home once already…believe me when I tell you I was miserable. I was miserable for a couple of reasons. Those reasons I will get to in a bit.

Here on Atlantis, I am responsible for the safety of all the members of the expedition as well as city of Atlantis itself. I am the top military commander here now. I am the guy that my commanding officers back on earth, thought was a major screw up. I do have a tendency not to follow orders.

So yes, I admit to that character's fault among others. I don't believe in leaving a man behind. I did mentioned changes right? Can you believe it? This screw up was actually promoted to Colonel. My friend and the first head of the Atlantis' expedition, Elizabeth Weir thought I was deserving of that promotion.

Here on Atlantis you have people from all different races and nationalities who are doctors, scientists, and military. Atlantis is unique in that several governments from different countries on my planet actually found a way to work together. On my planet, this is a rarity not the norm. I have met people who have become my friends – no I consider them my family more than I consider my family back on earth as family. You see things happened in the past that…I rather not get into at the moment.

You know if I tell you all the stuff that has happened to me the last few years while I have been here on Atlantis. The average person would think that I am nuts. Certainly my family and some of my friends back on earth would. I don't want to think about all that anyways – I'm waiting on someone.

So, I looked down at my watch on my wrist and instantly regretted it. Because the time on my watch told me, that the time is almost here. I think that is perspiration I can feel on my forehead too now. My hands can't keep still. They are constantly touching each other.

I guess I'm nervous. I'm taking a very big step tonight. Tonight is one of the most important nights of my life. I'm about to do something that if you ask me a few years ago – I would of told you that was not in my future. I looked around my room. As my heart seems to have picked up the pace of a charging bull – I tried to calm my hands by shoving them into my pockets.

I'm trying to calm myself down. This is not a life or death situation I told myself. I have faced those kind situations many times before. Hey, I'm still here to tell those tales aren't I? So during the process of me trying to tell myself that what I was about to do was no biggie, the chiming at my door startled me out of that talk.

Man, who was I kidding! It is a big deal to me. I heard myself say, "Oh, crap this is it!" She is here! Mind you, I have practiced what I'm going to be saying to her already. Words like, you knows how much I care for you right? At least, she will know after tonight.

Tonight, is about me finally telling her all the things I have wanted to say for so long, but haven't able to. I want to tell her that I have never cared for anyone the way I care for her. That I want to take her in my arms – hold her – love her. You see in my mind, I have done these things many times before, but the only problem with that it is – that it's all been in my mind - my thoughts - my dreams.

I want her in my life. I want her by my side. I haven't told her these things for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I tend to have a hard time expressing how I feel to the people I care the most about. Don't ask me when it started. Maybe, the stuff from my childhood played a part. I just find it easier to express myself in my actions than my words.

Then, I was too blind to recognize my feelings for what they were. Then when I was finally aware of my feelings, there were complications. So tonight will not be easy for me, but I have already lived through a future – let's say I know what it is like to be in a world where she is no longer apart of.

As I was saying, I have practiced what I'm going to be saying, but that doesn't stop my mind from going completely blank as the fear gripped by heart. Those old doubts came rushing back. I forced them down. There goes that chime again.

I take a breath and in mind I allowed the doors to my quarters to open. In walked the object of my dreams, hopes, and longing. To my eyes – the most beautiful woman I have ever known.

"Hi, John," she greeted me smilingly.

The way my name sounded coming from her melodic voice had every hair on my body standing at attention. I found my voice in time to respond, "Hey, Teyla."

The End.


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